Into the Dark of the Night
by thegirlwhoneverforgot
Summary: Please review. The doctor has a mind battle with his thoughts, that he has been avoiding for some time. But while Rose is sleeping, it attacks him. Can he find any good reasons to answer these questions? Can he win? Please review. First DW story ever. Read my aurthors note at the end, to take my poll on my page.


Into the Dark of The Night

(a Doctor Who Fanfic)

He stood there, still and quiet. The still, peaceful, quiet form of the Doctor was nothing compared to what raged inside his mind. It burned, it wailed, it was as worse or even more worse than the Great Time War itself.

The Doctor would usually ignore these battles that were coming on in his head. All he had to do was take Rose by the arm and gallop off on another adventure. But in the moments that passed while she was napping, there was nothing that would stop that battle now.

A single question sat on his mind, and it was slowly warming up. Why?

He growled in frustration. He started walking around the console of the TARDIS, flipping switches, turning nobs, and whatnot. Trying to do anything to distract himself.

_But, Why? _His mind would ask. He growled in frustration again and threw himself into the chair, propping his feet up on the console. The TARDIS hummed, almost encouraging him to fight. It's what he always did, so why not now?

_WHY, _his mind asked again.

"Why what?!" he snapped aloud. When the echo of his yell died out, he closed his eyes and started muttering to himself. "Infinity times infinity… Well some infinities are larger than others!" he cried out.

"Thanks a lot John Green!" he sighed and sank back down into the chair.

_You might as well answer the question,_ his mind prodded.

"Shut up Thick-head!" he groaned.

_Stop calling me names, I am your mind. You are basically calling yourself "Thick-head",_ it remarked. _Thick-head,_ it then mocked.

"Oh shut up!" the Doctor said. Then it was silent again.

_Care to answer my question? Why do you do this? Why do you act like you are aiming for a goal? Why. Do. You. Continue. To. Live?_

The Doctor was silent. There was no need to reply aloud. Images of his past flashed inside his head, war, death, blood, loss, hatred, lies, and so much pain. Why did he continue to live? He has had to say goodbye to so many people. He has had to destroy planets for the sake of others. He had made people fear him.

_See what I mean? _his mind prodded,_ What has been the benefit of you doing this? You continue to live, yet you watch as your companions leave. You have been the cause of death. Remember when you had to destroy those planets? Remember when you watched as you burned Gallifrey? Even on those planets that were wrong in so many ways, there were still innocent people, yet you destroyed it. You can barely even save the companions that you keep dear to you. So tell me, _Doctor,_ If that is what you call yourself, why do you do this?_

"I was young and naive," the Doctor gritted.

_You were at least 200 years old._

"Well I have learned so much within 700 years!" he raged.

_You continue to lose people._

"Time goes on and I must remain," the Doctor argued.

_Why MUST you, don't you have a choice?_

_"_I do have a choice! I choose to stay!"

He heard a door open. He peered down one of the TARDIS halls to see Rose, in fluffy pajamas and an outrageous bedhead shuffle to the bathroom. She was holding a pile of clothes and closed the door softly with a large yawn.

The Doctor smiled. Rose Tyler, Defender of the Universe. He sat back down on the chair.

"Rose Tyler," the Doctor mused. He remembered the first time they met.

_**Her back was pressed against the cold stone wall as the plastic dummies were closing in. He remembered running up to her and taking her hand. Her face when she turned to him, and when he said "run." She seemed so dull with the world. So he had taken her by the hand and shown the Universe to her. When he took her to the future, and they met their first foe. She revealed her lovingkindness and compassion, asking to spare Cassandra. Her compassion strengthens through all their journey's. He loves to see the admiration in her eyes whenever he tells her fascinating facts about new planets, and life. She was so understanding, and so curious. Now, to see Rose in her fluffy pajamas, still curious as ever, has changed. She no longer was frightened, but brave. Her curiosity drove them both mad. He could now see that Rose had finally blossomed. There was no going back. She was changed, and it was beautiful!**_

_Hellooo? _The Doctor stood up.

"Rose Tyler!" he cried, "Victories, happiness, Joy, Love and Life!" He ran to the doors and threw them open. Where they hovered, he saw the galaxy.

"Wonders and Mysteries!" The Doctor cried closing the doors and running back to the console. He started flipping switches.

"New Discoveries, New Hope!" The Doctor exclaimed. Then he stopped running, and paused for a moment.

_What are you saying?_

The Doctor smiled madly.

" Madame Pompadore said,'One may forsake a world of demons for the sake of an angel.' I made my mistakes, and I still will do so. But I have learned so much, I have saved lives as well as taken. I found a new life in traveling the stars, to run. Then I found earth, and it has become my home! The pain is worth it when I find friends, and the people I share the Universe with! Oh the joy! And now present day, traveling the Universe with Rose Tyler. I love it! I-" he stopped, then very quietly said, "I love her."

_And you say you WERE naive._

"Oh I still am," the Doctor admitted, "But oh the joy it brings! It may not last forever, but rest assure that it is all I need to keep living! To see the joy it continuously brings is all I need to live and to love! Think of Sarah Jane! She is still alive! She is happy! She has a son and K-9! She said that I GAVE her a new life! My name is The Doctor, and I heal and save people! So don't ever ask me again 'why'! I will tell you why, because if anything, I chose this life and I chose the earth. I believe in her and the joy she brings to me, and every companion before her! AND LIFE GOES ON! ALLONS-Y!" He flipped a switch, and the TARDIS was off. He held on to the console, with a big grin plastered on his face. Never in 900 years of his life had he ever felt this good.

The TARDIS landed.

His mind was silent. Nothing to say.

"Doctor?" He turned. Rose was standing there, ready to go except her hair was wet.

"Rose!" She smiled her infamous smile.

"Where are we off to now?" she asked.

"Well, as a special treat, we are finally visiting Barcelonia!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah?" she mused.

"Yes," he grabbed his coat, shoved it on, then grabbed Rose around the arm and they headed outside to face a new adventure. "Because Rose, to live is the greatest adventure!"

* * *

><p><strong>How did you all like it? I loved writing this peice. To be honest, I could make this longer. I could make this a whole adventure in Barcelonia! Or I could create a differant story with a differant title to continue this. I will make a poll for you to use on my web page. Please review! I need some encouragement in my writing! Thanks. This is my third update, thanks to helpful tips and review from Jesuslovesmaria.<strong>

**thegirlwhoneverforgot**


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